


Bring Me To A Boil

by PennyMorgan



Category: Spy (2015)
Genre: "You look like a..." jokes all around, F/M, Lovable and Adorable Ford, slight 50 Cent/Nancy, this movie is my everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennyMorgan/pseuds/PennyMorgan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What exactly happened between 50 Cent’s beef jerky and the morning after?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. P.I.M.P

“Ow!” Susan hissed through gritted teeth. She walked in short, stiff steps back to the mansion with the help of her newly close confidant Nancy. Luckily the excruciating pain in her thighs covered up the joint discomfort in her knees and ankles which in turn helped mask the soreness in her abs, so really it wasn’t _all_ bad. She’d hate to be the schmuck that would have to deal with this the next morning… if only it wasn’t her.

“Sorry, sorry! I’ve told you I’m not good on my feet- metaphorically and literally unfortunately.” Nancy apologized as she partially carried her friend up the long (or at least seemed long) staircase to the entrance into the foyer. Backup had already reached the investigation scene and was well underway into collecting everything they could get their hands on when it came to De Luca and his connections. While today was a win for the CIA, there was always going to be another head honcho ready to take their place in the terrorist syndicate. They never show all the boring research and paperwork that is done in the movies.

“Oh don’t apologize, you saved my life for Jiminy’s sake!” Susan disconnected from her close colleague and waved her arms around to show how grand of a gesture that really was to her, as if the words didn’t speak it clearly enough.

Nancy huffed out a chuckled and batted Susan lightly with a limp wrist. “It was nothing! No. Actually. Yes, yes it was something… I shot a man!” She became rejuvenated with the excitement she felt back in the helicopter once again. “But my god, can we talk about how much of a badass you are! I mean really, the way you initially talked to Anton I thought my head was going to explode!” Nancy suddenly remembered the demise of Rayna’s Anton who looked more like the guy who would try to push overpriced cologne on you in a department store than be the personal head of security for one of the most powerful women in the world. “…may he rest in peace, of course.” She added solemnly for good karma. “But I knew you always had it in you! You were always something special.” Nancy playfully knuckled Susan in the shoulder and they both could do nothing but smile at one another at how far they’ve come from the basement. 

They were interrupted by clean, squeaky sneakers rubbing against the spotless, marble flooring. “Hey ladies!” 50 Cent gestured and gave them both a hug at once, an armful of Nancy on his left and an armful of Susan on his right. They could barely return his tight embrace in surprise. “The champagne and beef jerky are on me as a thank you for this wild ass ride!” He said with a full smile that accentuated his perfect white teeth. But as soon as that smile flashed he quick turned into a stern expression as he pointed his index finger inches from Nancy’s face. “Which I know you stole.”

Nancy bulged out her eyes and stuck up her hands as if she was caught in an elaborate bank heist. “Yes! Yes it was me!” she shrieked. “I’ll admit it! It was wrong and it was bad and I will repay-“

“Whoa whoa, baby, chill, I was only playin’.” 50 Cent cooed as he also mimicked her body by putting his hands up in defense. He patted her on the arm for good sport. “Take as much as you want, in fact-“ he whistled sharply through his teeth, far louder than either of them were expecting, as evident by their slight jump in shock. He was full of surprises.

Five men showed up by 50 Cent’s side in less than 5 seconds. “You two, please carry this lovely lady to the best bedroom upstairs.” It was hard not to notice his two new favorite Bond girls struggling to get through the massive front lawn and steps and figured they deserved some help. “And be motherfuckin’ gentle about it, she just saved all ya’ll’s lives.”

“That’s really not necessary…” Susan began to insist but before she knew it, she had two strong burley men hoisting her up between the two of them and began carrying her up the staircase to the second floor. “Christ on a cracker! This is! This is!… actually this makes things much easier, gosh you guys know what you’re doing.” She stopped fighting and settled into their strong arms. Besides for going through the emotions and embarrassment of admitting her feelings for Bradley _to_ Bradley **_and_** that asshole terrorist group that looked like an 80’s out-dated European boyband, and the newfound pain she had in her hamstrings and lower back, she could definitely get used to saving the world.

“And you two,” 50 Cent gestured again. “Get my stock of champagne- _the good kind_ \- and jerky from my stash. Also look into restaurants in the area and have them cater this place.” He had the tone of ‘I don’t care the price, make it happen’.

“And you.” There was one left from his entourage. He looked back at Nancy and stared at her up and down. “Please give this gorgeous amazon of a woman my personal number… too bad it’s girl’s night and I have a show tomorrow in Paris.” He bit his lip and gazed at her one last time before strolling away and out of the mansion.

Nancy let out a lengthy sigh she didn’t know she was keeping in and let a huge smile roam across her features. “Oh yeah, he definitely wants me!” She exclaimed to no one in particular, except maybe Bodyguard Number 5 who just raised one of his eyebrows and kept making a stern, unimpressed look. “I’ll just… go check on my friend…” she awkwardly finished as she started making her way up the staircase.

“But don’t forget to give me that number!”  


	2. You Can't Handle The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick Ford receives a new mission.

The wind whistled against Ford’s ear as he started heading back to the lake dock on his (yeah, sure it was his) speedboat. Fucking Greece. That shit was overrated anyway. And who buys a villa by a lake? A real man would live by the sea. A true testament to his manhood and all that he accomplished.

“Oh, bugger it.” Ford mumbled to himself, a disgusted, snarling look on his face as he sped closer to the dock. For once he wished he had hair to at least help him enjoy the cool evening breeze. Too bad he lost his full head of hair in a toxic chemical spill truck accident while on mission trying to save a school bus full of abducted orphans with nothing but a stolen, juiced-up segway…

Ford exhaled sharply and rolled his eyes to himself. Who was he kidding? There wasn’t even anyone around and he was still making up fanciful tales to help inflate his sensitive ego. All of the men in his family began balding by their mid-twenties and that was that. He rubbed the back of his head as if to remind himself of the truth.

The truth. Ford was never great with that. Since his teens he had a relentless bad habit of lying almost just for the sake of lying. He noticed how easy it was to get people to believe him if it wasn’t too outlandish and the attention it brought him. It made him the life of the party. It was always something to fault back on as a defensive mechanism. You can never have too many of those.

But as he got older, a little more mature, maybe even more withdrawn from his social life once he made his career with the CIA a priority, he began to ease up on his compulsive lying. Until Susan bloody Cooper took over his existanse. She was eager, intelligent, and just about bloody perfect at her job and that intimidated him. Scared him even. And he could feel his already fragile ego breaking deeper every time he was around her. So he used the only thing he could to help inflate the only superiority he thought he had: he lied.

If Rick Ford was truly being honest it started from the very beginning in the briefing room with Elaine and the other surviving male agents, or so they thought at the time. Susan courageously offered her services in the name of her recently departed partner Fine, and Ford secretly, maybe even subcounsciously knew she would be perfect for the mission, blame it on his astute observational skills and inherently keen intuition. There were a couple training days out of the year where field agents would be paired up with tech analysts different from their designated partner to help get a better understanding of a mission from their point of view. Ford always thought it was a big load of rubbish until he was paired with Susan a couple years back. He remembers her bouncy dirty blonde curls, rosy cheeks, and her perfume that exquisitely combined a sweet and zesty aroma… like a vanilla spice latte. She was excited to go over all the typical procedures but she also enthusiastically explained a few special things that only she did to help run the mission as smooth as possible. Ford really was taken aback by her technical proficiency and communicative skills, although he may not have shown it.

No wonder Fine was so successful in every mission, it was Susan who was the brains behind it all along! Ford always knew Fine was a cock. If you took away his sophisticated tailored suit he’d look and have the same amount of smarmy charm as the general manager at your local T.G.I. Fridays.

Ford could already tell from those few hours with her that she was amazing at what she did and thinking back with new eyes, it was clear as day that she would have easily transitioned to an excellent field agent. But back then he just knew he wanted her as a partner again when the time came for another training day. He figured it never hurt to have additional work-related cross training, especially when it was with Susan. I mean, why else would he want to see and talk with her again? But he never got his wish.

When Susan did finally become the well-deserved field agent she was born to be and received the assignment, he felt threatened since he believed his own position as an agent was all he had going for him, so he decided to go rogue. He tried to take over the mission because he told himself it was because he would do a better job. And maybe he truly believed that in the beginning, but it all changed when Susan saved him from his explosive Louis Vuitton backpack. (And he loved that backpack too.) After that, a small voice inside of him, about the same size as one of the mice in the basement, began rooting for her. It told him he would rather protect her and try to actually help her out by listening to her rather than attempt to take over the mission, which turned into a disaster every time anyway. That tiny voice became bigger and louder as his chest became heavier and tighter every time he saw her.

Ford always knew he hated the truth. It complicated things.

Now he was off the boat and slowly walking back to the villa. Dusk had arrived and the CIA support teams were starting to clear out and call it a night. It looked like some of the support team members were eating lobster filled ravioli and another was eating what smelled like delicious roasted chicken with herb-grilled vegetables. Bloody hell? What exactly did he miss?

The food smelled heavenly but he really didn’t have much of an appetite. He didn’t even know where he should go for the night or what to do with himself now that the mission was over and he had to make amends with the CIA first before even hoping for another assignment of his own.

Ford did start coming to fast terms that the one thing he knew he wanted was to be with Susan. The weak, almost mental part of him that kept trying to convince him that Susan was just a colleague and nothing more… and that the reason he wanted to know what she had wearing underneath that black flowing dress in the casino was to be sure she had properly concealed weapons… and that he couldn’t stop thinking about her because he had to keep her on his mind and predict her movements and know her exact whereabouts in order for him to successfully take over the mission… was slowly becoming nonexistent. But that tiny voice that got into his ear and began to influence his brain and steadily takeover his heart during this long-winded trip not only told him but made him feel that Susan was clearly a force to be reckoned with… and that she could be someone he could look up to not only as an extraordinary agent but also a selfless human being… and that she could be the first real thing in his life he could be proud of… the first thing he’d ever gotten right. If she would just give him a chance…

He began to grimace at the unlikelihood that Susan would ever give him the light of day again. As he began to come to his senses he was realizing just what an utter twat he had been toward her. The mission would have ended and closed in half the time if he hadn’t been harassing and meddling in her business like a big dopey grade-schooler with a crush, pulling her hair in the playground then wondering later why she didn’t like him the way he liked her. He huffed into the night air in frustration. He had no one but himself to blame.

He took an actual look at his surroundings again, previously lost in the diagnosing of his own psyche. The CIA was clearing out even further from the lawn as the cloudless night began to settle. He looked back at the villa, brightly lit with some commotion from the clean-up crew inside. He wondered if Susan was there.

Even if he was coming to terms that he was an utter, brainless buffoon at times, Ford was never one to back away from a mission, and Susan Cooper was becoming his most challenging and life-changing mission to date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little caught up this chapter on the characterization of Ford, so I hope you guys like my spin on it. More Susan and Nancy livin' it up next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> I loved this movie to bits and love to see this little fandom growing. Kudos, Comments, and Suggestions are always appreciated. Rating subject to change.


End file.
